“See put your daughter in that famous convent, her life will be made” a comment came flying like a missile at us in a family get together, we were truly speaking, quite perplexed at the sudden attack of concern about my barely two year ten months old. “And getting an admission is quite a job in that school you know” the well wisher continued in her sonorous voice, “Soumi, get her admitted in that FAMOUS tutorial three days a week and the admission is guaranteed.” I almost choked at the thought of putting my little baby in a tutorial class three days a week. I did not want that coveted admission in that OH SO FAMOUS school, I wanted my child to be a part of an institution where they let the child blossom keeping in mind his or her area of interests and so in a very subtle voice I asked my well-wisher, “What kind of sports does this school indulge its students to practice?” “Sports?” Her mouth formed into a big O, “Which famous schools waste time in sports Soumi? She has to become academically inclined to shine in life and I tell you this school sculpts its students. You won’t regret later.” I stopped arguing and came back home. But at night when I looked at the sleeping face of my daughter, I took a decision.
My husband, from the very beginning, left all these decisions of admitting her in which play school and which high school later, on me. He had this opinion that “Too many cooks spoil the broth.” Buy still I wanted him to be a part of my decision and he is an amazing sounding board.
We sat and talked it out. I told him I don’t want to put my daughter in any tutorial home for getting an admission in any school. I shared my vision of what kind of an academic institution I was looking for her.
Next day onwards I took up the batons of teaching her in a fun way and admitted her to a play school. While I taught her I realized there is no better teacher in this world but your parents and I still continue to reach her, she is in class 3 at the moment and no private tutor for her. Sometimes I do get stuck and then I have to put that extra effort of self-learning before explaining certain concepts to her, but I do.
Our times were different, their times are different. We had limited career choices, their choices are abundant. I eventually chose a new age school which does not clip the wings of dreams these small children harbor, they let them fly. Since 2014 my daughter is a part of this very good school and I as a mother, is more than satisfied.
It gives me so much happiness when I see my child climbing down from her school bus with a glowing face each day and she has so many school stories to share with Mom every afternoon. She is besotted with her school library; she is spoilt for choices there. She is a part of every annual concerts and loves all those Saturdays where she has to sacrifice her sleep and go to school for rehearsals. Annual sports day is like a national celebration to my daughter, school excursions are more fun than a vacation with Mom and Dad. She lets out a whoop of joy on the days when she has western music or dance or art and craft in her routine. Even unit tests do not stress her, she is fairly competitive, not with her friends, but with herself.
So this was a choice I made for her and so far she has proved me correct.
Yet there is another side to the story. Few days back I heard an incident from a friend of mine about her ten year old son. And this little boy reads in a very famous school of India, which happens to be my ex school also. Naturally I am little biased towards this school. But the incident which I heard from my friend shook me to the core. A little boy all of ten years was pressurized by his class teacher, a language teacher and a teacher in charge in front of his mother to admit committing a prank he did not do. To add to it the opening statement of the class teacher and the teacher in charge to my friend was, “Do not believe him whatever he says, he will be lying.” I mean really???? A mother will not believe her own child, her own blood, her own upbringing but will have to trust these strangers? Is it? NO.
Fortunately my friend stood by her son and forced the school authority to check the CCTV footages along with her, she took up the matter to the principal and now everything is sorted.
But the impending question which is lost beneath this humdrum is, are we giving entitlement to some people who call themselves TEACHERS (Very Unrightfully Though) to bully our children? To harass them? To oppress them? Is that why we send our children to FAMOUS schools? NO, A BIG NO. Yes a school and the teachers hold the right to bring in discipline and to build a value system in the children but most certainly not in this way. This is wrong and NO parents should ever side with the wrong party.
A very humble request to all the parents out there, please do not leave your child’s side when he or she needs you the most in these kinds of sticky situations, do not ill treat them in front of outsiders, exhibit your trust and faith on them, show them how confident you are that he or she has not done any such thing as opposed to what is being said. And please let us refrain from raising hands on our children, just because we are parents, we are NOT their authority and neither are they our subordinates.
Children have very impressionable minds and they seldom forget an ill treatment, especially when it comes from parents. They lose confidence on parents, start hiding things, lying because of no apparent reason. A little twisted yet a very innocent psychology plays in the fore front of their mind, “I told them the truth yet they did not trust me. What’s the use of being truthful then?” Immediately they choose the easier way of lying. Only we can save our children from choosing a wrong path in life and for that an easy relationship, a friendship of sorts, a lucid camaraderie is of utmost importance. Let these little angels grow up in a friendly environment with strong family ethos and values. We are creating a base for them so that they can face their future unhindered; let’s make that foundation rock solid.
This Mom will be back soon with more of her insight into parenting.
