In our life, we are attached to many things. The attachment only makes us enjoy and also suffer because when we feel attached to someone or we feel to be attached with any object, and if we do not have any responsibility of the opposite person and we do not get the said object, we get completely devastated.
So, we need to analyze this fact,
“Is getting attached to anyone or anything bad?”
Another question may crop up that
“What is the difference between attachment and love?
This question comes many times in the mind of all of us. If we go by Buddhism, they advise that there is a clear cut differentiation between loving someone or something and being attached to it. To understand the compatibility between these syndromes, we have to first analyze the difference between the attachment and love.
Basically, when we feel the attachment to someone or something, we show our desire extensively either for some person or some object. This desire may not be related to only sexuality. How it comes? It comes from nature, which is mostly based on ignoring the perception of considering the thing and people are permanent. When youvisit a temple, you come across a sage or monk. They are also like us. They are human beings. They also eat, drink and sleep. They do everything we do, but they maintain a difference between our doings and their doings. Without showing any attachment for anything, they continue to live only with one goal of getting Moksha. They observe all the things in the world as non-permanent.
But in the case of common people, we set a pre-condition when we show our desire. For example, if we have someone and try to establish closeness to someone or something, then we tend to cling to it or brake it more. During this period, we do not like to sedate our other desire at any cost. We want to continue the said activity, but when we are not able to fulfill our desire, we show our lack of interest in the same or even begin to dislike or hate it. So in this desire, for attachment or love, we put a condition.
Again attachment is based on object or love arising from a selfish perspective which is “I only like to be happy.” I do not know whether others are happy and I am not bothered about others happiness.” In this mindset, we throw a question mark that our action is based on subject, object? In short, attachment is binding. Because of this hypothesis, attachment is based on impure consciousness. Attachment is non-virtuous afflictive, contaminated emotions that lead to negative doing and that ultimately bring suffering. If you suffer, if you observe/analyze this thing, as stated above very closely, you will find that nature does not support attachment.
You observe the growth of a tree where you find that a tree has no attachment to the flower or fruits it bears. Similarly, neither flower nor fruit show any attachment to the tree. When the flower grows, either we pluck it or it extinguishes its own. Same is the case in the animal kingdom. A lion loves her cub not less than any mother and human being. But once the cub grows old and able to fulfill its desires at its own, parents do not bother anymore. So, there is no attachment. Now, taking the case of love, it is based on an understanding of impermanence. Something which is born in this world will definitely pass away. Hence, philosophers philosophize that there is no need for love, no reason to learn. Life is like emotions and these emotions are desireless, unconditional and non-discriminatory. There should not be any pre-condition of ‘if-then’ to play here.
Any mother loves her child without any pre-condition. So, in any love, there should not be any condition. Love is releasement of anything from the container. It must be considered as pure, mindful consciousness. Living with kindness is virtuous, non-afflictive, uncontaminated emotion that brings only joy and positive result. Fundamentally, one must accept the fact that in every kind of relationship, one must form the close binding for the others. This binding must be based on love and kindness and mutual relationship without showing any attachment on a pre-condition basis.
One must ensure that contaminated attachment should not come in the way of a loving relationship. Then only the relationship will be maintained and it will make the same more strong and long-lasting and this type of loving relationship will be in a position to weathering many forms which people endeavor in their lives. So, attachment is a kind of emotion that needs to be purified because the condition is attached to the same, linked to the same. It should be purified and to be replaced with a positive counterpart with all loving-kindness.
We have to understand the difference between attachment and love. Accordingly, we have to lead our life. If we fail to understand the difference and we are not that mindful to visualize the said difference, it will only bring sorrow or grief. One needs to explain/extend his hearted with real love with the quality of affection. When one is able to come out from the scenario of “I must only ensure of my happiness”, he can love others and then he will be able to understand the concept of love and attachment in a right manner.
To know more about the attachment and emotions check out this article on Control Your Emotions to Live a Happy Life.