In our society, there is a tendency for most of us to find fault with others. Some of the times, the reason may be very trivial. In a true sense, that type of situation can be sorted out just by ignoring the issue, but we are falling into the well laid out trap of the opposite person making the scenario unruly. It happens both in the professional and social circle. You name anything related to sports, political newsroom, you will find that these types of activities of finding faults are predominantly spread everywhere. One thing is very clear that by finding the fault, you cannot be in a position to accomplish the result as desired. On the contrary, if you find fault, another person will be disturbed, demoralized and also disheartened and in this process, you cannot have the proper output. You cannot even come up in the life and to sustain for a long time. It is true that when we mingle with people, we cannot have a formula on how to meet, how to talk, how not to cross the limit and how to behave. There may be the protocol for all these activities, but no one can say the same is perfect for that particular situation. You cannot have a full-fledged blueprint of pre-planned design to make sure that you will live lives which will fulfill the requirements of others in a perfect manner. It may be planned to the extent of some percentage depending on the situation, but it cannot be perfect to100%. Human beings have a common sense, have a power of intelligence and have the ability to connect with each other and so, they are unique, but at times, they are illogical also. All the attributes of a human being cannot be programmed to the tune, as deemed fit to be for a particular moment. Each one of us has the sensitive intensity and this sensitivity varies depending on the mood or temperament of a particular person which is subject to change from day to day or even from our hour to hour, minute to minute.
We, the human beings want to live in the society and form connectivity. We are treated as global habitat with various families, institutions and corporations. It is basically possible to grow this connectivity by increasing the awareness with a sense of belongings. When you have more tolerance for others needs, you will establish a deep connectivity, but for this, there must be a mutual sympathy and respect for each other. In our whole world and even in our society, every relationship is unique and special. The same is to be nurtured with bonding, patience, and understanding. If you consider this secret of a successful relationship, you will find that there is heart to heart understanding which one needs to follow closely to maintain a long-lasting relationship. You must avoid the difference in opinions and fault finding as practical as possible. The secret of harmonious and peaceful life is to focus on people’s capability and you have to always point out the strength of the opposite person, but not their weaknesses and defects.
Baha’ullah, the Prophet of the Baha’s faith said to his disciples, “If you find that there are nine vices and only one virtue in your neighbor, forget the nine vices, and focus only on the one virtue.” In this way, one can understand the other’s feeling using the heart and not the head. If you are able to see only the good in others, you will find fewer faults with people. On the contrary, if you focus on others faults, you will be always encircled by a negative force because your mind is full of negativities. Fault finding, constant criticism, show irritation to others activities and not praising the others for their accomplishments are the most ineffective ways of changing the world. If you magnify the mistakes of others, they will not be poor, but you will be the loser. If you have an affable face, smiling approach and finding less or no faults of others, you can do miracle and wonder in your relationship. Try to practice to show a smiling face while communicating with others. Allow yourself to speak kind-hearted words and you will find that wrongs are easily set right. In this way, all the wrongdoers can be converted to propel in the right direction and walk on the right track. When Sufi poet Sadi was in his adolescence age, his father, a dervish took him to the mosque where a night long vigil was being observed. Sadi observed that the people are coming to the mosque, getting assembled there and, after a period of time, began to fall asleep, even the concerned head of the mosque also fall asleep. Only Sadi and his father had remained awake. The little Sadi whispered into his father’s ears. “Father, you and only me are keeping the vigil. All others have fallen asleep.” Sadi’s father rebuked him and said, “It is better to go off to sleep and not observe the vigil rather than find fault with others and think ourselves superiors. “
If you like to be happy, you can begin thinking in this direction. Every one of us has something good and also something wrong. There cannot be perfect human being and you cannot find fault with them. If you want to find fault with the other person’s activities, you can do so very easily and in the same way, he can also be in a position to carry out with the same activity. We have developed a theory based o our own intellectual about what is wrong and what is right, what is proper and what is improper, what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. Based on this assumption when we decide to carry our judgment on others, we take a narrow view. In this process, we convert ourselves to a selfish attitude and lose out on a lot of good cheer and joy that comes from being open-minded.
None of us is perfect. Even Jesus told that “Don’t call me perfect. Alone, the Father in heaven is perfect.” Considering the case of marriage, relationship, friendship and even acquaintance, there will be intimacy between two human beings who are trying to live together, work together or establish a common platform for sustainability in the world. Unless we decide to accept people as they are unless we decide to consider them at their face value and unless we grab them with an affable approach, we will lose all possibility of finding happiness in our relationships. We cannot establish any meaningful connectivity. Almost all the time, approach people with love and understanding with less criticism and even it is there, it must be positive only. Watch the consequence of your this behavior. You will be astonished to find a thorough change in their approach towards you.